When Connection Is the Spark, But Not the Flame
Not long after I launched this blog, a former colleague reached out with enthusiasm and support. It felt great—bing, bang, boom: Connection! Possibility! Maybe even collaboration… we set up a meeting.
I was excited—and a little surprised. Here was someone I hadn’t connected with in ages, showing up with curiosity and kindness. In a season that can sometimes feel like shouting at the sky, it was deeply affirming.
The Dance of Intent
Guilty admission: I had some wishful wondering if this was a soft screening for a role or just a casual catch-up. You know that dance? Where you’re toggling between “be cool” and “pitch mode activated”?
It wasn’t clear at first, so I defaulted to polite enthusiasm, half-prepared to pivot if needed. But the conversation settled into just… talking, I relaxed. We laughed, shared updates, and somewhere between the “we should do a podcast - quick and dirty - just to get something out there into the wild!” and my “sure, I’m game,” I realized: I wasn’t chasing a job. I was just connecting.
The Spark of an Idea
Their excitement made me smile. I could see the idea’s potential, it sounded fun and a bit scary—a small win for personal growth and openness to new ideas.
And since my calendar was (ahem) wide open thanks to the job hunt, I left the ball in their court to toss over some potential times we could rip the Band-Aid off and record a raw, wild episode.
And Then…Nothing
And then… nothing. No follow-up. No reschedule. And, frankly, I didn’t follow up either.
Part of me wondered if it had just been a passing idea on their end. Another part of me thought, “Was I supposed to push this forward?” And then another, quieter part whispered, “Do I really want to?”
Somewhere in my gut, I wasn’t sure whether this idea would energize or exhaust me. And in this season of career shifts, creativity, and recalibration, that’s becoming my most important filter.
The New Networking Rule: Follow the Energy
We talk about “following up” like it’s a moral obligation. Let’s reframe that duty into a personal empowerment choice.
Ask yourself: “Will this light me up or weigh me down?”
Sometimes, letting go of an idea is an act of self-respect. It’s a way of honoring your bandwidth and trusting that you don’t need to chase every spark to stay lit. Or maybe it’s not a no, but a not right now.
Networking doesn’t have to be a hustle. It can be slow, mutual, and full of grace. You’re allowed to let a maybe fade into the background without it being a failure.
For me, the value was being seen. Catching up with a peer I hadn’t spoken to in a long time. Laughing over shared observations from the analytics trenches. That was enough.
What I’m Learning
- It’s okay to say yes to a possibility and still not pursue it.
- It’s okay to leave space instead of filling every silence with effort.
- It’s okay to value clarity over complexity.
Go With Your Gut
When you’re job hunting, networking, or just “putting yourself out there,” and you’re wondering whether to follow up or move on… ask what your energy is trying to tell you. It’s often wiser than we give it credit for.
And if you’re also wondering how to network in a way that doesn’t feel like a second job or an awkward sales pitch… stay tuned.
That post is coming.
But not today.
What helps you decide whether to follow up—or let it go?
I’d love to hear how you navigate the in-between.